the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
