this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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