We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
