Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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