Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
