yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
