He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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