I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
