Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
