i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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