is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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