remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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