Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
