my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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