you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
