drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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