And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i will never coherently bang her
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
