Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
