You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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