holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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