uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
