can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
