I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
