no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm both gender and math confused
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
