All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
