it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
