That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
