he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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