I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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