Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my being single is dangerous.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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