it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
