how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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