I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
