Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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