Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
