TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
