I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I got her a Nickelback box set.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
