ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
