It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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