A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
