you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
