We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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