Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
