mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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