Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
