have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
