I cockslap morals
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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