One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
