All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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