You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize