the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize