got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
