I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
