But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
ok first of all what the fuck
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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