she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You are a genius and a whore.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
