I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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