I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
NoShamevember. You game?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
