i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This is the prime rib incident all over again
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize