STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
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