New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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