question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
